20 Things I Wish I Would Have Known Before Turning 30

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Well, I literally never thought I would see the day that I turned THIRTY YEARS OLD.  That dreadful monumental moment has arrived in my life, and up until this point I've been very uncomfortable with the idea of being this old.  I have decided now, that I am going to embrace it!  Turning 30 is like a really, seriously big deal.  I believe if you can make it to thirty, you can make it through anything!  Let's face it, by thirty you made it through that awkward losing teeth phase, learning Algebra, high school in general, your teen years, and probably several heartbreaks.  Not to mention having to pay bills for your first time, living on your own, doing your own laundry, and cooking yourself dinner.  I feel like I am officially a WOMAN!  There are so many things I wish I would have known along the way throughout the course of my life so far, so I want to share a few or twenty of them with you.  

1. When people tell you eating bad will catch up to you, it absolutely will.  I swear, in the past month I have gained about 10 lbs.  Nothing has changed in my diet, no, I'm not pregnant, it's just life, I guess.

2. When boys are mean to you IT DOES NOT mean they like you.  It means RUN, and RUN as FAST AS YOU CAN!

3. Tattoos are permanent...no, but seriously, think more than twice before you go getting something crazy permanently placed on your body.

4.  You can't change people.  People have got to want to change themselves.

5.  Building your credit is more important than building your Instagram follower count.  

6.  Enjoy the little things in life because one day you will look back and realize they were the big things.

7.  If you don't like where you are, move.  YOU ARE NOT A TREE.

8.  Believe in yourself.  You must become unshakable in the belief that you are worthy of a big life.  You got this!

9.  Money does NOT buy you happiness.  

10.  You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.

11.  You will end up disappointed if you grow up thinking everyone has the same heart as you do. 

12.  Listen to your mom.  Turns out mothers really do know best!

13.  Watch what you say.  Words are free.  It's how you use them that may cost you.

14.  Life doesn't always turn out how you expect it to.  Never, in a million years, would I have ever imagined to be thirty years old, with no husband or children.  

15.  Everyone's true colors will eventually show.  Trust me on this.

16.  Stop saying "yes" to sh*t you hate.  If you don't want to do something don't.  

17.  Never chase love, affection or attention.  If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having.

18.  In 30 years, I have never gotten Salmonella by eating raw cookie dough.  EAT THE RAW COOKIE DOUGH. (ha)

19.  What doesn't kill you, really does make you stronger.

20.  The best is yet to come.  I always wonder how one year could be better than the last, but it seems these days, that almost every single day is better than the last.  

I'm ready to see what these next thirty years have in store!  I have had a great life so far.  Has it been perfect? No.  Has it been ideal and what life is "supposed" to be? No.  Has it been challenging? Heck Yeah.  Would I trade it if I could?  NOPE.  I plan to make my next thirty years even better than the last.  Life is short, do the things you have always wanted to do, and make it amazing!  Tomorrow is not promised. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

HELLO 30!!

PC: Brasspenny Photography

PC: Brasspenny Photography

Thank you, as always for reading!!

DEAR MAMA: Mother's Day Ain't So Happy For Everyone

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If y'all didn't think I was going to start this off with the name of a Tupac song, y'all are crazy. No, but on a serious note, I'm here to talk about one thing.   Mama's and Mother's Day.  With Mother's Day being tomorrow, I can't think of a better topic.  I'm going to be completely honest, Mother's Day gives me mixed emotions, and I'm going to explain to you why, after I put out rave reviews about mine.

 To begin, I want to say that I am lucky.  I have the absolute best mom in this entire world.  It's funny how we all seem to think that, so I guess I will say she's definitely the best and most perfect mama for me.  As far as I can remember back, she has always done any and everything in her power to support me or help me out.  I think my siblings and I can all agree on this and there were four of us.  This day and age, with a group that size, everyone agreeing is pretty rare.  (Insert eye rolling emoji here) We didn't agree on much, but no one can argue that.  We didn't have a lot of money growing up, but there was never a time she didn't make us breakfast...ok it was usually cereal, make our lunch, and cook dinner for us every single night.  I am talking a sit down, full plate, of home-cookin', EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.  Although, I have to say I'm still upset with her for making me drink a glass of milk with it, it was AWESOME.  Nowadays I go out to eat about 85% of my meals and it's just not the same ....I don't cook at all, she definitely spoiled me in that area.  We always had THE BIGGEST Christmas, our entire living room would be filled with presents from her, and then Santa.  Now, when I think back, the fact that all of those gifts I thought were from "Santa" were actually from my parents amazes me!  How the heck did we afford that?  Back in the day, when I was supposed to get married (I'll get into this another day) we went wedding dress shopping together.  I found, what I thought then was the perfect dress, she spent every penny she had saved up to buy it for me.  There is nothing she wouldn't do for me, or any of us four kids.  She is THE most supportive person I know.  She shares EVERY single blog post I do, even if it's nothing she is interested in.  She's my number one fan.  Mother's Day is great getting to celebrate her and the other women in my life who I'm lucky enough to call family. 

Why do I have mixed emotions about Mother's Day, you ask?  I did just say it's great for me, but I probably should have said mostly great.   The main reason is that I have this heart, which I got from my mama, and it's a great big & sensitive one.   One that cries almost daily watching heartwarming viral videos and commercials.   I feel so deeply for things ,and for people, and it seems to either be a blessing or a curse, never in between.  I am mostly happy on Mother's Day because I have my mom here to celebrate.  I have all of my grandmas and even a great grandmother still here to celebrate.  For that I thank God.  This big heart of mine doesn't let me just think about myself though, I think about the people who have lost their mother, who as if they don't think about the loss of someone so precious enough, they have to be reminded of it every day for a month or two, with commercials, walking down card aisles, and advertisements about what you should get your mom for Mother's Day.  I can't even imagine going through that.  To whoever you are, my heart goes out.  Then there is that woman who may have had a miscarriage or lost their baby who has to be reminded about such a devastating time in their life.  Next the woman like myself, who would die to have a baby and be a mother.  I'm not going to go too much in detail about this, I will save that for a rainy day, but being almost thirty years old and being the minority in the having kids category is rather depressing.  Most of my friends are on their second or third child, and I'm still sitting here praying for my first one and an excuse to gain a few pounds.  I'm already reminded every day that I'm not a mom, I don't need another.   Then, there is the woman who may not have the best relationship with their mothers.  Maybe their mom wasn't around much, maybe their mom was abusive, or an alcoholic, or an addict who wasn't the best mother.  Whatever the case may be, I think we all need to take into consideration that Mother's Day isn't so happy for everyone.  

Anyone whose hearts hurt on and around Mother's Day, my heart goes out to you!  I encourage you all to reach out to someone who may have a hard time on Mother's Day this year.  It could mean more than you know. 

This one is obviously non Nashvile related, it's just me venting, but I appreciate you all reading!  

Life Lately: Riches to Rags

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You guys don't understand how excited I am to be writing this blog post right now from an actual computer!!  Every blog post I have done up until this point has been from my phone, which has been a serious struggle to say the least.  There have been many long hours spent and many cuss words said over these past two months since I started "Native in Nashville", but I am excited to bring y'all some new and improved posts.  You wouldn't imagine the world of difference this makes to me and how much more I can do.  Who knew?

Isn't she pretty?  I'm seriously so excited and IN LOVE.  I decided to go with a MacBook Air.  I really wanted a MacBook, but only because it's the only one that comes with pretty color options  Luckily for me, the Apple store sells a case that made computer look rose gold, just like my phone.  WIN-WIN!  

Some of you won't care a thing about this post, because it honestly has nothing to do with Nashville at all.  No cool waterfalls, restaurants, food, or clothes...just me, myself and I and my life lately.  More like a "Dear Diary" post to be exact.  If I were you, I would probably x out of this right now.  For those of you who do want to read about my boring life, I salute you.

Riches to Rags....

I know you're probably looking at that line like, "hey, she wrote that the wrong way".  Nope.  I wish I could say that was the case.  As most of you know, if you read my previous blog about change http://www.nativeinnashville.com/blog/2016/3/1/a-change-would-do-you-good (copied here if anyone is interested)  I made a HUGE life change about a month or so ago.  One day I realized that I didn't care how much money I made working where I was, some things are just not worth it.  I did something really crazy and went on my lunch break one day and didn't return.  Enough was enough.

I had always told myself I would never be a waitress again in my life.  I am NOT knocking waitressing at all, I just want to say that up front.  I always said that because it's literally the hardest job a person can ever do in their life.  I think everyone in this world should be required to wait tables for at least 6 months, before they are even allowed to go out to eat.  Some of you may not even know that waitresses only make $2.15 an hour.  Plus tips.  Let me name a few or ten reasons why being a waitress is hard, and then I will continue this story.

  • Constantly on your feet
  • No breaks (if you have to pee, sometimes you can't even do that...)
  • If you are facing a problem at home, you might as well not even go into work =NO MONEY.  You HAVE to have a smile on your face, always.  No matter what. 
  • SIDEWORK.  After a shift, you are required to do like a billion other things before you can leave.(making $2.15 an hour, no more tips, might I add)
  • If the customer doesn't like the food, or the kitchen messes up the order, there goes your tip.
  • Have you guys seen the black chunky "no-slip" shoes? EW
  • The uniform in general....and having to buy most of it yourself, before you even make a dollar.
  • Most all restaurants have a "tip out" meaning part of the money you make off each table as a tip, goes to someone else (food runner,busers, the bar)  It's based off of sales, so basically if a table doesn't leave a tip at all, the server has to pay out of pocket.
  • 10% tips.  This brings me back to the fact that some people do not realize servers only make $2.15 an hour.  I say if your service is good, you should tip no less than 20%, no questions asked. 
  • Smelling like french fries at the end of the day.  Ain't nobody got time for that. 
  • Running food and side work.  Do you realize that even when servers are not with a table, they are constantly carrying heavy plates out to tables that aren't even theirs, if you suck at carrying them, like me, getting food all over their clothes.  Something always needs to be done, ice needs to be refilled, plates and glasses need to be restocked, silverware needs to be polished and rolled.  It's always something, you literally can't catch a break.
  • You have to have the best memory of all time.  I have ADD and a bad memory + anxiety.  Not a great combination.  Imagine the feeling I got forgetting what someone asked for, and how easy it would be.

This list goes on and on.  I'm telling you guys, its hard.  We need a training class on how to treat someone who is a server.  I hope you ALL read this and take notes.  Anyways, I started working at a restaurant.  At first, I was very excited about it.  Unfortunately, that feeling faded very quickly.  I think ultimately, the excitement factor resulted from me never having to go back to my other job again and the satisfaction of just doing something new.  I also enrolled in school, and I knew having a flexible work schedule would make it really easy on me.  VERY long story short, I had to do two weeks of training before I even began making tips.  When I did begin making tips I made very good ones, at least 20% on each table.  That wasn't the issue.  The problem was the fact that I may only get 4 or 5 tables today during a shift.  I was the new girl, in the worst sections, with the lowest amount of tables.  That just doesn't add up to much.

I went from making what I was making an hour, to making that much in a shift.  It would have taken me about 35 shifts to even make enough to pay my half of the rent and utilities.  It was bad you guys.  I would leave crying.  I was working so hard for what felt like nothing.  I was used to buying almost anything I wanted, whenever I wanted, and not thinking a thing in the world about it.  Being a waitress for about about 5 weeks, was a huge wake up call.  I started thinking about things in how many days it would take of work to pay for whatever it was that I thought I wanted.  There were times when I felt guilty, just for buying myself lunch.  I literally saved every penny, which between that and taxes, I am thankful for now.  My back and feet were constantly sore and I always smelled like french fries. I was constantly looking for ways to make extra money, I even became "Molly Maid" for my brother once. I realized quickly that I am not cut out for that kind of hard work and labor.  The cleaning I could definitely handle, it was the waitressing that got me.  I seriously salute anyone who does this.

Present Day....

I started vigorously looking for something else, anything else, that would not take a physical and emotional toll on my life.  I started reaching out to every person I knew, with any kind of connections to good companies.  I had several interviews and I am pleased to say I accepted a position with a Clinical Research company, in Nashville, a couple weeks ago.  My first day ended up being yesterday and I already love it, the people I work with, and the fact that it is something that makes a difference in this world.  I am happy I had the humbling experience of being a waitress again.  It was a real eye opener for me.  My life currently feels good for the first time in quite awhile, and for that I am thankful.  All of this happened because I decided to make a bold move and make a change.  Yes, I had to make some sacrifices along the way, but in the end, it was so worth it.  I think the key to life is having someone in it, who supports you.  It could be a friend, family member, lover, whoever.  All it takes it that one person to let you know it's all going to be ok.  It will all work out, exactly as God plans for it to.  I appreciate you all reading and supporting my little blogging journey.